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Transcript:Cops and Criminals
This is the transcript for "Cops and Criminals". Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode. [Scene: The Stuffedgomery Police Department. Deputy Dog and the Beanies open the BFC's cell] Deputy Dog: BFC... Bedtime Bear: What's up, you son of a—? Milo Watson: Cuz, this is PG! Bedtime Bear: Fine. What's going on, lower-ranked officer whose not as lower-ranked as the other lower-ranked officers? Deputy Dog: We need your help. Black-eyed Jake: What's that I hear? A bunch of uptight policemen need criminals to help them accomplish something? That doesn't sound very right! Goon: What? Did you not get your supply of donuts on time? Tito Bear: Or maybe you're upset because now there are no criminals in Stuffedgomery and you want this organization to have a purpose again! Deputy Dog: Very funny, BFC, but that's not the case. Bedtime Bear: Then get on with it, would you? Deputy Dog: Ahem! As you know, yesterday was the public execution of that figure, Evan Kelly. Bedtime Bear: Yeah. An execution that wouldn't have happened if we didn't bring him to you in the first place. Me and my family didn't exactly get to see it because you ingrates decided to forget about all of our hard work and took the opportunity to lock us away. I give you credit for that, it was pretty smart, but I'm still furious with you! [Bedtime Bear looks up to see that Deputy Dog is angered at him] Bedtime Bear: Okay. Continue... Deputy Dog: As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, it was meant to be the execution of Evan Kelly. Bedtime Bear: Ooh! Did you get outsmarted by a teeny-tiny figure? I take back what I said about you. If you let him slip underneath your nose—which by the way, you shouldn't because you have a good sense of smell—that makes you more incompetent than the average cop! Deputy Dog: This wasn't my fault! Okay, it was kind of my fault! Bedtime Bear: What'd you screw up this time? Deputy Dog: Enough of your nonsense! Bedtime Bear: *groans* Go on... Deputy Dog: It all happened all so sudden. One moment, Sheriff Squirrel was preparing to execute Evan and then the next moment he brought along two other pirates and a ragtag gang of mercenaries with him. Beanies: We tried to hold off the mercenaries as much as we could, but we were defeated in an instant. Those guys didn't play fair: they used a golden grenade and it knocked us back, therefore preventing any damage we could have done to them. Deputy Dog: Of course, I was the next line of defense but I just happened to get distracted by a very beautiful woman. I attempted to help her up as any true gentleman would, but as it would turn out, she may have been working with that Evan kid all along. Bedtime Bear: What gave you that idea? Deputy Dog: Well, when we were walking together, she suddenly dropped to her knees. When I—ahem—just happened to take a slight peek at her panties... Bedtime Bear: Uh-huh! *whispering* Pervert... Deputy Dog: She got angered out of the blue. When I picked her back up to her feet, she locked me in some kind of submission hold that is used in pro wrestling and well... the last thing I remember is her saying that I shouldn't have looked at her panties. Then I was knocked out cold because she sprayed me in the eyes with pepper spray! Bedtime Bear: So what I'm getting is... because you decided to let your lechery run wild for one day, bad things happened. Deputy Dog: Yes. I mean, no! I am not lecherous! I am a true gentleman! Bedtime Bear: Uh-huh, no, *makes his nose grow* vweeep! Goon: Although, even though this is clearly your fault, what color were Renata's panties? Bedtime Bear: Yes, me and my little brother would like to know! Deputy Dog: They were white. Goon: Ha ha! Man, I wish I was there to see that! Bedtime Bear: Indeed, bro! Deputy Dog: Women's undergarments are not the things we should be talking about right now! This is a serious situation! Bedtime Bear: Get on with the seriousness then. *whispering* Mr. Borefest... Deputy Dog: Anyways, I woke up a few hours later, only to realize that the people that were there were gone, meaning that the public execution did not work out as planned, but I figured that that just could not be, because Sheriff Squirrel would never miss a chance to uphold justice! Bedtime Bear: Justice, right? I'm pretty sure he uses justice just to be a jerk! Deputy Dog: Ahem! Bedtime Bear: Ugh! Deputy Dog: Back to what I was saying. So because of all of that, I woke up the Beanies soon after I got up and we began searching for Sheriff Squirrel, only to find his carcass lying on the Stuffedgomery Police Department's grounds. Clearly, he died, but me and the Beanies do not know the culprit as of yet, but we can only assume that the prime suspects are either Evan, Weigh, Anchor, Renata or one of those Figure District Mercenaries. However, mercenaries only kill on order and it couldn't be Weigh, Anchor or Renata because they were busy fighting me and the Beanies, so the only logical suspect is Evan. While we don't know for sure, all I want is to get revenge on him and his soldiers for killing Sheriff Squirrel, but since we were unsuccessful the last time, there's no chance in heck that we're going to beat them on our own, so that's why we came here! Bedtime Bear: So, what you're saying is that you want to form some sort of an alliance. Goon: Why would we align with you? Tito: Yeah. How can we be so sure that you won't betray us... again? Black-eyed Jake: I don't trust any of you! Milo: Normally, I'd be okay with something like this, but I'm not sure. It's all up to Bedtime Bear! Bedtime Bear: Alright. I accept your offer! [The rest of the members of the BFC gasp] Bedtime Bear: What? Tito: Well, if B.B.'s going along with this, I suppose I have no other choice in the matter. I'm in. Goon: If my big brother thinks that this is a good idea, then I'm in too! Milo: I'm not sure if we should trust these guys again, but if my cousin has a good feeling about this, then I'm in as well! Black-eyed Jake: Why y'all looking at me? Frankly, I think this is a terrible idea. Men on the opposite side teaming up together. It's utterly ridiculous! [Black-eyed Jake looks at the other members of the BFC] Black-eyed Jake: Okay, okay! Fine. I'm in! I'm in! There, you happy now? Bedtime Bear: Alright then, so it's set. Deputy Dog: A once in a lifetime alliance between enemies. We'll... Bedtime Bear: ...bring... [Camera zooms in on both Bedtime Bear and Deputy Dog's faces] Bedtime Bear and Deputy Dog: ...down the Yellowbeard Pirates once and for all! [Scene: Nearby the Figure District. A pirate ship is riding on the ocean] Woofworth: What's our heading, captain? Jingle Snowberg: We're nearly at our destination. Pumpkin Emerson: Excellent! [Camera zooms in on a husky. A title card appears under him saying Jingle Snowberg] Jingle: It's just a matter of time, Stuffed Animal Pirates! By the time this day is up, a peace treaty between stuffed animals and figures will finally exist! [Camera zooms in on two dogs. Title cards appear under them saying Woofworth and Pumpkin Emerson] Woofworth: I'm certainly glad about that, captain! Pumpkin: Agreed, Woofworth. Things will be different from now on! Jingle: That's great encouragement, guys! Has anyone seen Pikachu and Psyduck? Woofworth: You mean them? [Camera zooms in on a mouse and a duck. Title cards appear under them saying Pikachu and Psyduck] Pikachu: Pika-pika-pi-Pikachu! Pika-Pikachu! (English translation: Sorry we're late guys! Psyduck overslept!) Psyduck: Psy-yi-yi. Psyduck-Psyduck! (English translation: But we're here now. That's all that matters!) Jingle: No apology neccessary, men. The Figure District is upon us. I see that this war will finally come to an end! [Scene: The Figure District. Five pirates are seen] [Camera zooms in on one of the pirates. A title card appears under him saying Landlubber] Landlubber: It's stuffed animals again, captain. Don't they know not to mess with us on our territory? They'll never learn! [Camera zooms in on another one of the pirates. A title card appears under him saying Buccaneer] Buccaneer: What fools! It's no wonder that figures are the superior race! [Camera zooms in on another pirate. A title card appears under him saying Swashbuckler] Swashbuckler: Ooh! This sounds like such a momentous occasion. I want to tear them apart limb by limb and then eat their remains. Ha ha! [Camera zooms in on a pirate captain. A title card appears under him saying Yellowbeard] Yellowbeard: Well, now this makes things more exciting, doesn't it? We'll just make examples out of them. [Camera zooms in on the last of the pirates. A title card appears under him saying Freebooter] Freebooter: Shall I take care of them, captain? Yellowbeard: No, Freebooter, by all means, stay here with the rest of my men. I'll finish them off! [Yellowbeard grabs a sword] Swashbuckler: Captain, you haven't used that sword in a long time! Are you sure about this? Yellowbeard: Never question me, Swashbuckler. I've got this under control! [Camera zooms in on Yellowbeard's eyes] Yellowbeard: Arahahahaha! [Scene: The Stuffed Animal Pirates arrive at the Figure District] Jingle: We've arrived at the Figure District, Stuffed Animal Pirates! Time to put things right! [The Stuffed Animal Pirates get out of their ship and begin walking] Jingle: Hello? Hello? Where's the leader of this place? Woofworth: I don't see the leader, captain! Jingle: The leader has to be around here somewhere. Let's continue walking. [The Stuffed Animal Pirates walk further, arriving at a forest] Pumpkin: Captain, this place is really dark! Jingle: Oh, don't be scared, Pumpkin. What's there to worry about? We'll just be talking to the leader of the Figure District, making a peace treaty with him and getting out of here! It's as simple as that. Woofworth: Captain's got a point, Pumpkin. Don't freak yourself out. Pumpkin: Okay, okay, okay. Just my imagination. Jingle: The leader's got to be around here somewhere. Pikachu, Psyduck, do you see him? Pikachu: Pika. (English translation: No.) Psyduck: Psyduck! (English translation: Not at all!) Yellowbeard: *o.s.* There is no leader of the Figure District. Jingle: Huh? Who said that? [Pikachu and Psyduck turn around] [Camera zooms in on Yellowbeard's face] Pikachu and Psyduck: *both scream* [Pikachu prepares to use Thunderbolt on Yellowbeard, but he dodges the electricity and stabs him with his sword] Pikachu: Pika. (English translation: Ouch.) Yellowbeard: What a stupid stuffed animal. Who wants to go next? [The remaining Stuffed Animal Pirates look at Yellowbeard after witnessing him hurt Pikachu] Jingle: For Pikachu! Let's attack this guy! Woofworth and Pumpkin: Yeah! Psyduck: Psy! (English translation: Yeah!) Yellowbeard: Four on one then. Oh, this will be such a delight! [Jingle, Woofworth, Pumpkin and Psyduck charge at Yellowbeard. However, the latter ducks whatever attacks they could have used on him and covers up his sword with a sheath. After doing so, the remaining Stuffed Animal Piratea fall over in pain] Yellowbeard: Arahahahaha! Such weaklings. [Scene: Yellowbeard's lair. Yellowbeard has handcuffed the Stuffed Animal Pirates] Swashbuckler: Ha ha! As usual, another one of Yellowbeard's greatest victories! Yellowbeard: Albeit a quick one. These idiots actually wanted to make a peace treaty between figures and stuffed animals, but regardless of what they want, the war between the races will continue. I'll make sure of that! Landlubber! Landlubber: Yes, captain! Yellowbeard: Take them to the Ship of Legends and lock them in its dungeons. Landlubber: Of course, captain. [Landlubber takes the Stuffed Animal Pirates to the Ship of Legends] Buccaneer: Pathetic plush toys! It serves them right for what they did to us figures! Freebooter: I hope that they all die! [Scene: The Ship of Legends. Landlubber throws the Stuffed Animal Pirates into its dungeons] [Afterwards, Landlubber walks out of the Ship of Legends and back into Yellowbeard's lair] Yellowbeard: We'll let those freaks be a warning to all of the citizens of Stuffedgomery. You don't mess with the Yellowbeard Pirates! Arahahahahahahahaha! Swashbuckler, Buccaneer, Freebooter and Landlubber: *all laugh* [Scene: Stuffedgomery. The members of the BFC are riding with the members of the SPD in their car] Bedtime Bear: Deputy Dog, we appreciate that you let us out. Deputy Dog: Don't get too cocky. We're only working together to defeat the Yellowbeard Pirates and that's it. Afterwards, we return to our status as enemies. Bedtime Bear: I know, and I like it that way. Now for this alliance, you and the Beanies will be staying with us at our base of operations. You can call it the BFC's hideout if you may. [Scene: The BFC's hideout. The members of the BFC and the members of the SPD walk out of the car and into the house] Deputy Dog: Well, I'd say you got a pretty roomy place. Say, do you have anything to eat around here? [Milo's stomach growls] Milo: I kind of have to agree with the policeman on this one. I'm very hungry! Tito: As a matter of fact, we have plenty of food. Say, who wants some spaghetti for dinner tonight? Everyone: We do! Tito: Excellent. I'll get started right away! [Scene: A few minutes later at the BFC's hideout. Tito is serving spaghetti to the remaining members of the BFC as well as the members of the SPD] Tito: Dig in, everyone! [Everyone begins to eat] Bedtime Bear: Mmm... delicious, as usual. Milo: *slurping a spaghetti noodle* Tito's spaghetti has got to be one of the best spaghettis that I've ever tasted! Goon: I couldn't agree with you more, cousin. Black-eyed Jake: Well, it's edible, so that's a good thing. [Everyone glares at Black-eyed Jake] Black-eyed Jake: Just kidding, guys! It's great. Thank you, Tito! Tito: You're welcome. Now, do any of you guys from the SPD like the spaghetti? Deputy Dog: Why, this is amazing! We should serve this recipe at the Stuffedgomery Police Department at lunch all the time. Isn't that right, Beanies? Beanies: Indeed! It's quite tasty! Tito: I'm glad to hear that. [Tito slurps a spaghetti noodle and smiles right after] [Scene: Post-dinnertime, the members of the BFC and the members of the SPD are at the hideout's living room] Goon: Man, that spaghetti was superb! Thanks, big bro! Tito: No problem, Goon! So, what do we do now? Bedtime Bear: Well, it is kind of late. Should we get to sleep? Deputy Dog: Actually, I have something to say first. Bedtime Bear: Really? What is it? Deputy Dog: I'll tell you. [Scene: Nearby Stuffedgomery. A ship called the Payment is pulling into the docks] Weigh: Alright, we're nearly at Stuffedgomery! Now while your leader's attending to business of his own, he left me in charge, so you'll have to listen to me! Verruckter Wissenschaftler: We will... if you pay us well enough. The rest of the Figure District Mercenaries: Yeah! Anchor: No need to worry. Captain Yellowbeard will pay you and your leader very well once we accomplish this mission. Octavius Glasshire: Awesome! Willard Glasshire: Nothing's better than a little bit of cash. We'll listen to you no matter what, Weigh! Isn't that right, men? The rest of the Figure District Mercenaries: Of course! Weigh: Good. Now I see the Population of Plush ahead. Let's give it all that we've got, men! [Scene: Evan's chamber. He is lying shirtless in his bed] Renata Ratcliffe: Oh, Evan! Evan Kelly: Ah, Renata. So you no longer want to be a virgin now, don't you? [Camera zooms in on Renata, who is wearing a night gown, posing with her left hand under her chin] Renata: Why else do you think I'm here? Evan: Oh, I love it when you talk dirty to me! Renata: Well then... [Renata takes off her night gown to reveal that she is wearing a black bra and black lace panties] Renata: ...let's get started now, shall we? Evan: Challenge accepted! [Evan gets out of his bed and takes off his pants, revealing that he is wearing white underwear with hearts on them] Evan: I love you, Renata! Renata: ...and I love you too, Evan! [Evan and Renata begin kissing each other, falling back on Evan's bed as they continue undressing past their undies. Evan begins to pull down Renata's panties while Renata pulls down Evan's underwear. After this, Evan and Renata cover up themselves with the blankets on the bed, as Evan removes Renata's bra, kissing passionately one last time as they make love] [Scene: A few minutes later in Evan's chamber. Renata is putting her clothes back on while Evan looks outside the window of the Payment] Renata: Well, I'm just like every other girl in the world now. Evan: Only you're better than them, Renata. [Evan walks over towards Renata and touches her stomach] Evan: Soon, once we finish my ally, Yellowbeard's mission and get paid for succeeding, we'll no longer be helping him out with his evil schemes. We'll be on our own, and hopefully if I just happened to be the right man, we'll be having a child very soon. Renata: But in the event that this does work, our child will be a bastard child. He or she will never be legitimized by the laws of the Figure District! Evan: Nonsense, Renata. We'll get married once this is all over and once our child is born, I'll make sure to legitimize either him or her quickly so those officials don't get any ideas. That is, if you agree to getting married? Renata: Of course I do! [Renata hugs Evan] Evan: I'm glad you accept. Weigh: Evan! Evan: Well, duty calls! [Evan and Renata walk out of his chamber] Weigh: Evan, we've finally reached Stuffedgomery! Evan: Excellent job, Weigh! Now... let's begin our mission! [Weigh stops the Payment and he, Evan, Anchor, Renata and the Figure District Mercenaries get off of the ship and begin walking] [Scene: The BFC's hideout. Bedtime Bear is still talking with Deputy Dog] Bedtime Bear: So, that's what you want to do? Deputy Dog: Of course. I've come to the conclusion that the BFC and the SPD aren't enough to take down that many men. If we can get as many allies as we can, we may have a chance of winning. We'll start off first at the Town Hall, hopefully if they're willing to go along with it, our alliance will extend with Mayor Waddle. Having him as an ally will also acquire us Assistant Mayor Barbara and all of the guards at the Town Hall. I think it's a pretty good idea. Bedtime Bear: Well, I never thought that I'd agree with a cop. Fine! We'll go to the Town Hall tomorrow. Having Mayor Waddle on our side means we'll have all of Stuffedgomery on our side in no time! Deputy Dog: Well, then it's settled. The BFC and SPD Alliance is off to a good start! Bedtime Bear: I couldn't have put it a better way myself! [Bedtime Bear and Deputy Dog high five each other] Deputy Dog: *yawns* Well, it's been a long day! Bedtime Bear: Yeah. Let's get some rest, everybody! [The members of the BFC and the members of the SPD walk towards their bedrooms] [Scene: Outside of the BFC's hideout. Evan, Weigh, Anchor, Renata and the Figure District Mercenaries are there] Evan: So, the Town Hall, huh? I guess we'll just have to pay Mayor Waddle a little visit. Heh heh! [Episode ends] Category:Season 1 transcripts Category:Transcripts